I don’t even know where to begin to be honest. We were SteveFarrelloutclassed from start to finish by an absolutely rank side. They’re awful but we made them look like a semi competent side. One again Pardew was out-managed by Poyet. He cannot buy a win against him. I’m hard pushed to give anyone more than 4 out of 10. Maybe Sammy but he was hauled off at half time. The void left by Remy, Coloccini, Gouffran and Cabaye was there for all to see. It was simply dreadful.

You know what one of the worst things are about this? It’s the fact that I’m now not even that bothered. Going back a few years I’d have been in a huff for a week – but I’m just very apathetic about this. It seems to have been happening to me over the last year or so. Maybe I’m just becoming more level headed in my old age – or maybe it’s the buffoons running our club that is making me feel so far removed from the place. Whatever it is – it’s very strange being so unmoved by a derby defeat. It’s even stranger that I’m going to continue paying the best part of £500 a year to watch something that doesn’t bother me…

STEVE FARRELL

The year is 2014 and we started a football match today with 2 SimonCampbellAmeobis up front. If we didn’t score first, winning this game was going to be near impossible. We were missing 4 of our 5 best players this season. The players we had left put in a shite performance and the substitutes we had available are not match fit or very good. Ridiculous challenge to gift them a pen and the game was over for us. 

There is little to be gained from discussing the performance further. It needs to be forgotten fast. I fear for Pardew as I said this week there will be a significant number of fans this season that just won’t forgive him for this. We played heinously today but he had very little to choose from today. Effort levels were unacceptable though. 

Yohan Cabaye’s absence was disgustingly obvious today. You have to go back to 30th November to find a game where a player who started today scored for us, Sissoko’s winner against West Brom. That’s the last 12 goals we scored from players who were not available for selection for this game. We also miss the presence of a few characters like Jonas and Colo instead of the mindless moron that is Steven Taylor. 

Take some pride in the fact that we are still comfortably 8th despite a horrid run of luck and results. We will finish in the right half of the table, a feat that the unwashed have managed only twice in 30+ years. 

That’s all I can think of to leave on a positive note. Last time we lost to this lot we responded by winning 7 in 9. It will take something similar for this to be forgotten. I’d still rather be where we are and lose a couple of derbies than be any of the clubs in the bottom half of the table. It’s just the Mackems. Most of their fans won’t go to any more games this season. We can still achieve something if we don’t lose our minds. Perspective is everything.

SIMON CAMPBELL

If anything summed up United’s performance today, it was the sight of a bedraggled, 

Man wearing ski maskpissed supporter in a ‘Whey-Aye Man’ costume stumbling from beneath the perma-shadows of Eldon Square bus station long after the echoes of he final whistle and he songs of sunderland had dissipated into the freezing air. Pardew will be quick to blame the supporters; their songs saturated by w*n*a clackerboards, the absence of chairman and director of football from the last game of any credence for those like you and I who love our club. From the first to the last moment of this game, not one player gave the home crowd anything to be proud of in the derby. The game plan was ‘hoof it to Shola’ or ‘give it to Ben Afra who’ll take on seven men on his own then find no one’s bothered to get in the box’ This game had nothing to do with the sale of Cabaye, it smacked of a team with no passion, no plan and no leader. As much as it hurts to say, sunderland were the better team today, yet again. We all know what the score was; what we should know is that none of our lot tested their keeper, save for a Tiote long-range effort at 2-0 down. ‘Get out of our club’ all you like, it doesn’t disguise the lack of passion, depth or tactics displayed today.

MATT STARK TF_INITIALS_LOGO