We’ve been bleating on for all of 2014 now how we are only here to make up the numbersSteveFarrell and stay on the Premier League gravy train. I’d argue that we are a plant from Sky to ensure that the relegation scrap remains interesting for the rest of the season. We’ve been turned over by Fulham, Mackems (twice), West Brom, Swansea and Hull so far, and we were dreadful in all of them.

We’ve found that Remy is almost too important to our successes this season. We are simply inept without him. Lord knows what the answer to this is given that the chances of him coming to us permanently are probably slim at best. To not even challenge the Fulham goal who have an absolutely diabolical goal difference is shameful. Don’t even know where to begin on who to blame. The only small positive that comes from this is that whilst we are sat in mid table not doing a great deal, we can watch from afar as teams above and below us battle their arses off to stay up/win the league.


Christ. It is a fast growing concern how little we create without Remy in the side (since SimonCampbellnewlosing Cabaye also). Hard working players like Goufrann and Sissoko seem to have very little in the way of ideas without these players around them. Cisse looked as lost as ever and you could see that there was no understanding or connection with the equally terrible De Jong.

We created very little in a poor game where I’ve never seen so many shite crosses get nowhere near our shite strikers. Set pieces were a joke. I am as glad as anyone to see a lad come through the ranks in Paul Dummett but he was shite in this game. He wasted all of our corners/free kicks and his open play deliveries were equally frustrating. I just don’t think he’s quite there yet. We need to find a proper set piece taker to replace Cabaye quick as we had more than enough opportunities to win this game from set pieces alone, such was the number that we wasted.

Our bench was the most pathetic I’ve seen in ages, again showing the fragility of our squad once we have 4-5 injuries. Again, I do not blame the manager for the team literally picking itself in games like this. That said, it’s his fault that he’s sat in a hotel room unable to affect changes that were evidently needed. I will however say that Sylvain Marveaux coming on was the least arsed a player has ever looked coming on for Newcastle. He is a disgrace. His attitude clearly stinks, he doesn’t give a shit and will happily collect his wages ‘til the end of his contract rather than work hard or fight for his place, which is rightfully taken by the bargain of the year Gouffran. David Dickenson couldn’t find a better deal. You can get 60 Gouffran’s for Roberto Soldado and he scores and creates more!

This was 3 points we should not have thrown away and all at the club are to blame from Ashley’s transfer window to Pardew’s idiocy in being banned and some pathetic performances from some lazy players. Silver lining? The mackems are right in it now and we’ve helped out with that. Eight more games, 24 points to play for…Howay man.


I found myself catching myself all week in the build up to this thinking ‘this is just the sort Man wearing ski maskof game we end up losing’. Fulham with their revolving door manager policy, no wins in 2014, no clean sheets; almost nailed on.

No real creativity in the first half from either team; United slipped quickly into hoof-mode after Fulham looked to grind this one out. Yet again, a lack of creativity in our midfield was luridly apparent; Cisse made some good runs but little went to his feet as per. Anita hardly raised his head and it was only Sissoko who looked like he had any intention of getting forward, the fact that no one else did made his tireless running ultimately futile.
Up front, De Jong was anonymous but, like Cisse, he had little to feed off; Cisse eventually hoiked after firing a pathetic shot straight at Stockdale when through on goal. I love the guy and have been very much of the ‘he just needs a couple of goals’ camp, but I think that’s it for Papiss.
Seconds after this debarcle, the ball went straight down the other end and Dejagah smashed it under Tim Krul who, it could be said, was slightly slow to react.
It took 85 minutes before a striker who showed a little bit of desire came on for United. Shola apparently made an appearance but I must have missed that, as did he. Adam Armstrong at least had a bit of a go, but we weren’t getting anything out of this one, every cross too long, even every hoof-ball was too close to the goalkeeper.
Howard Webb, obviously miffed that he wasn’t getting much attention during today’s game, inexplicably missed a clear handball in the Fulham penalty area in the last seconds of stoppage time to add even more bitterness to a pathetic performance.
The good bits: Little to report; Mike Williamson had a touch of sheer defensive perfection early in the game. Sissoko’s workrate.
The bad bits: Yet another game without what looked like much desire or fight. Paul Dummett’s set-pieces; shocking.