Newcastle United will not be relegated because we lost 1-0 at Arsenal. We could be relegated because we couldn’t beat Aston Vile, lost heavily to the Mackems, lost to West Brom, lost to Swansea and lost at home to Everton and couldn’t beat Stoke.
If as one sage commented on social media if the sign of a good team is winning when not playing very well, then it might be the case that bad teams lose when they do play well.
Our performance at Arsenal was what I’m coming to understand as typical McClaren. We are playing containment games against the better sides and we have wrung some decent results and promising performances when we aren’t expected to be anything but cannon fodder. No-one is really unhappy about possession stats, sitting deep and all the rest of it when we lose at a spluttering Arsenal and many of us are now so beaten down by Ashley’s strangulation of our club that we see a result at the Emirates of only 1-0 as not bad.
We could and should have done better at Arsenal. There is no question that Petr Cech is a fine goalkeeper and he could be 
the difference between them winning the PL or not but I’m not having it that his performance against us was one of any kind of virtuosity. Elliott has been pulling saves off like that since he came into the side and hasn’t had a media slavering at his every move. Do not imagine for one moment I’m suggesting Elliott is the equal of Cech. I’m not. I agreed with Shearer on MoTD when he commented that Wiljandum should have scored – a chip or a shot to the far post as Cech came out to close Gini down was in order. I didn’t think he should have taken an extra touch but rather hit it first time as it came across his body.
But we didn’t score and truth be told there were a few half chances but we didn’t put them away either. It’s no real surprise that we conceded a goal after Colo didn’t win the aerial challenge.
So then, we got a bewildered McClaren scratching his head and trotting out another hard-luck story. Apologies if this seems a little bitter but our club is sinking like a stone and with our next home game against Man Utd on the 12th of this month followed by a strong West Ham with you know who up front and then Watford and Everton away, the prospects look well, er challenging. I’ve decided to try and not even mention the FA Cup 3rd Round this Saturday at Watford because I expect another McClaren promise to be smashed to smithereens at Vicarage Road. They were very unlucky against Man City last weekend I thought.
It’s my belief that signing some promising players from France, Holland or wherever with sell on potential may represent 
throwing good money after bad this window. For me, it would be folly and Ashley has to intervene seriously to keep us in the Premier League and with something more far-reaching than signing a few cheques for the latest player in Ligue 1 who has caught his eye. He needs to sack Charnley, replace him with a seriously competent CEO with proper football experience, appoint a proper manager rather than a serial failure like McClaren (my choice would be Moyes) and allow him to sign four players who will scrap to keep this club of ours in the Premier League.
I don’t think there is much debate as to where the holes are in the first eleven – we need a proper left-back (we’ve not had one since Enrique did the off to Anfield), we need a central defender in the Shawcross mould who will attack the ball when it’s in the air and reduce our vulnerability to the kind of soft-goals we conceded at The Emirates. In midfield we need someone in the middle of the park who can put his foot on the ball, pick a pass, spot runners and my choice would have been Yohan Cabaye but he’s gone now. Jonjo Shelvey? I don’t know but I do know we can’t play two defensive midfielders when we are up against the likes of Bournemouth, West Brom et al. Do we need a winger? You mean like another one? We have Obertan, Marveaux, Thauvin in various stages of disappointment and don’t forget about Sammy Ameobi down in Wales in some baffling loan arrangement with Cardiff City. Whatever we need, pace is desperately in demand.
But at the top of our shopping list is a striker. Preferably one who knows where the back of the net is and when he does arrive is ready to go straightaway and start banging the goals in immediately. The club have created a situation now which is almost impossible for a player to come in, settle into the team and be gradually be introduced to the first team picture. Hit. The. Ground. Running.
This is the first week of the transfer window, McClaren said the team would be reshaped over three windows. All that patter has been ripped up for arse-paper now God knows how many years of neglect is catching up with us but there has to be action but hopefully it will have an impact.
McClaren? Charnley? Carr? Moncur? Ashley?
Forgive me my serious reservations with that lot.
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I think many of our thoughts will be with the family and friends of our much-loved former goalie, Pavel Srnicek who died 
so tragically just before Christmas of a heart-attack at the young age of 47.
Just to reiterate there is a book of condolence at St Andrew’s on Newgate Street in Newcastle (nr. Gallowgate).
There will also be a memorial service for Pavel at St Andrew’s Church on Wednesday 13/Jan/2016 at 12 Noon
Anyone wishing to send cards of sympathy should post them to:
Smutecní obradní sín Starý Bohumín 735 81
As a tribute to Pavel we have been selling the t-shirt Pavel Is A Geordie which is similar in design to the one our ex-goalie wore in the sunshine back in the 1992/93 season when we had just battered Leicester City 7-1 on the last day of that wonderful season. The whole atmosphere around United was the complete opposite to what it is now. There was a great feeling of unity between fans and players and I suppose nothing summed that more up than Pav proudly wearing the Pavel Is A Geordie t-shirt to the delight of the SJP crowd who had taken him to our hearts over that season and would do so for many seasons after as well.
100% of the profit raised from the sale of the t-shirts will be divided equally between the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation, the Freeman Heart Unit and a trust fund that exists for Pavel Srnicek’s children. I don’t expect life-changing amounts of money to be raised via this t-shirt but that’s not really the point. It is just to be hoped some small solace can be wrung from a desperately sad situation.
There are certain players who just seem to click with our support and Pavel was one of them. Pavel was born and bred thousands of miles away from our city but he was a long time servant and all of his former team-mates give testimony to his good nature and his professionalism. He was a good goalie and few would deny that. That he returned to the city regularly after he had hung up his gloves says much for the bond between Pavel and the people who continue to love Newcastle United and hold it dear. He was one of us and we’ll remember him fondly.
These t-shirts are £15 plus P+P.
Just click here to buy one.
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As I alluded to above we have Watford away in the third round of the FA Cup this Saturday. I don’t think I’ll be the only 
one scrutinizing the team-sheet for this game given the apparent and very well publicized change of heart about Cup competitions we were told about at the start of the season by McClaren. Remember also Ashley’s pledge to win a trophy.
At KO Saturday down at Watford we’ll understand if all of that was the bunk many thought it to be.
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This is the first of these columns of 2016 and I should wish you all a very Happy New Year. On behalf of the team that puts out this fanzine may I wish you and your families a prosperous and healthy new year. I don’t expect Newcastle United to do anything other than boil our collective piss for the next twelve months but hey, you never know, football can change quickly and hope springs eternal.
All the best to Black & Whiters everywhere.
Keep On, Keepin’ On …
There is only one thing our parasitic owner responds to and that is money. The boycott against Spurs last year and the cancellation of season ticket direct debits should frighten the club. Interesting to see huge numbers of half season tickets available in all areas of the ground. Lots have already walked away from supporting the club. Lack of activity this window is proving nothing has changed and the words of Ashley at the end of last season are as insincere as you would expect. Sad thing is we are close to a decent team right now but 3 or 4 signings are clearly required especially if Ashley was serious about winning a cup. Wijnaldum and Perez are a joy to watch but repeatedly we fade to a wimper in January when the habitual FA Cup exit kills off our season leaving us with only the joys of a relegation battle.
I despair when I see grown men & women emblazoned with Wonga splashed across cheap n nasty black & white nylon strips, tools the lot of them. On McLaren, I don’t see the point of replacing him, he has his list of players to bring in, Graeme carr has his list, then the secretary decides who to go for. usually the cheapest one, but really that’s all he can go on as charnley has no credentials to do the job what so ever. & does anybody have clue where moncur comes into this!!!
Too right and hopefully more of us than ever see getting rid of Ashley as the only way forward and will have no part in NUFC until he is gone. But where are Gadgie and Andy Bee with their alternative vision? It has all gone quiet over there!
We’re fucked and in truth we, as a club, undoubtedly deserve to go down. Surely the whole point of any professional sporting club is to be the best they can be? We all know we can’t match Man Utd or City, Chelsea & Arsenal with their huge resources & no sensible Toon fan expects us to. Christ, we get 50k crowds every home game yet we can’t even compete with Leicester or Watford. We, under Ashley definitely do not strive to be the best we can be, in fact we don’t strive at all. Our sole purpose is to survive miserably in the premiership so that our stadium can be used as a giant advertising hoarding for Sports Direct and Wonga. And while I’m on, any adult who has bought & wears a Toon top bearing the Wongs logo can fuck right off because you’re either ignorant or stupid. A team representing a solidly working class area like ours with a sponsor like those fucking leeches at Wonga just sums Ashley up. I personally think our only hope of Ashley selling up is a relegation or two. I don’t claim to know it will definitely make him sell up but I’m sure that as long as we stay in the premiership the bastard is going nowhere.
100% correct.
Relegation and mass desertion on the terraces MIGHT see him finally feck off!
Cant see anything else doing the trick.
I want to know whether Scudamore or Murdock are interested in our inability to compete? It is there for all to see that 17th is our target and we are stripping the ship bare to stay afloat to meet that aim. That fact alone must raise some kind of issue with the Premier League and Sky. Ashley has been called to order by the generally blind and cold corporate community by the chairman of the influential Commons committee. Now if you are brought to book by some of the most self interested people in the Government you really are slime. However the Premier League’s product is being tainted by association to the Shit Direct brand of uncompetitive existence, surely they have to act?
I wish McClaren to stay in place as he typifies the hamstrung nature of our recruitment policy and (as some have said here) Moyes would not make a difference if he came in. There will be a scramble to get quick fixes in but only after players are sold. This would maintain the status quo of having no competition for places and drag us further into desperate attempts to get points and bleed out confidence.
I am of the opinion that we should go down. Will it get rid of Ashley? It will be a sting for him and in no way is it assured that he will leave. One thing is for sure he is more likely to leave than if we merely bump along the bottom getting TV money and an audience for his tat.
Scudamore had his chance to champion a properly competitive Premiership when Remy outed Pardew ‘s lie. Pardiola claimed Remy was injured and unavailable to play against Liverpool; Remy said there was nothing wrong with him and Alan (“manager of the month” TM) Pardew just kept him off the field to boost our chances against our next, more winnable opponents.
If it wasn’t for Gerrard falling on his behind, we could have gifted the title to Liverpool through (effectively) throwing a key game. And let’s not even get started with the “injuries” to Colo against FA Cup opponents and his timely rehabilitation. We are a disease of a club! But of course it would be way too inconvenient for the Premiership to challenge this shambles.
Hear hear! as long as folk “buy” into the whole Sports Direct machine nothing will change. The fat man coins it in every way
Spot on, Ian. What more does anyone need to say.
Hi Michael, I agree with your comments wholeheartedly, however my concern is simply Mike Ashley. I don’t for one second believe that Charnley decides club strategy, and is really calling the shots in terms of where we purchase players from or the type of player. I expect Charnley is given a strategy/framework to work within, even if he is still completely incompetent of doing that. For me it is Ashley’s mindset that has to change if he is remain as owner. Unless an offer of stupid money is forthcoming, then he simply won’t sell. Replacing Charnley may not make such a massive difference if Ashley is directing strategy. I am aware of snippets in the press reporting Charnley having devolved responsibility, but I dare bet that isn’t the full reality of the situation.
It is also possible that Ashley may well get some perverse satisfaction from not purchasing players from other rival Premier League clubs, and thereby not funding them.
Id be amazed if we play a strong side against Watford on Saturday with a league game against Man U the following Tuesday. Football is about money not trophies these days. I’m sure McLaren is trotting out the same lies as Carver and Pardew regarding our cup challenge under instruction from Ashley to see how gullible our fans are. Tell them we are looking to win things and they will renew for another season.
At least we seem to be a more committed side than we were in the second half of last season but it remains to be seen whether that will be enough to stay up.
QHow about Glen Hoddle as general manager? Give him a three year contract,to sort the hole club out from tea lady to manager. Why do we under perform at youth,under 21s,reserves,and of course senior leval? Why so many injuries? Why so many signings that don’t work? Let him have the say with the manager who comes in goes out. It’s not the job of a chief scout to make those decisions. His job is to find talent . Are our coaches good enough? I could go on for hours, a complete overall is needed Mr Ashley or your investment will be worth so much less.
HAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!! Glen Hoddle, hilarious!!!
As much as I have misgivings about McClaren I’m not sure a change in manager will make much difference. Look at Garde at Villa. For me Moyes would bring the same problems as McClaren in that he has baggage from past failings. He will always be seen as a manager that failed at Man Utd and Real Sociedad rather than the decent manager who did a good job at Everton, like McClaren is seen as the England failure. In a perfect world we should have chosen a young successful manager whose career is on an upward trajectory. I can’t think of too many of the top of my head, perhaps De Boer?
I think he is out of our league with the fat parasite in charge but we could possibly get Aitor Karanka who has done a good job at The Boro.
He’s young enough and has turned Boro into a well drilled and oiled machine.
He’s done that over a period of time, however. Shooting him in here to manage in a relegation scrap is asking a lot. Besides, why in hell would he come here? Swapping a place in the Premier League with one of the best chairmen around for a place in the Championship being told what to do by Ashley, Charnley and Carr?
There is no way Aitor Karanka would drop down to our level.