Steve Bruce has left Newcastle United…are the words that 94.3% of us want to hear sooner rather than later. I still think given the current situation the club finds itself in on and off the pitch we won’t hear those words for a while yet..

This was my opening paragraph which was written before the incredible developments over the past couple of days.

Of Course now that we are under new ownership the chances of Bruce resigning have dropped to a big fat zero, which is fine, he can have his 3 million or whatever it is and f*ck off to Portugal. But make no mistake about it, I expect that charlatan to be out of the door in the coming days.

But there will of course be a huge outcry from his friends in the media, and we all know what the next few weeks will have in store for us. The narrative will be all about the new owners coming in and wanting their own man, and poor Steve Bruce has to be the victim in all of this. The narrative should be new owners coming in and instantly removing a manager responsible for 6 wins in 37 games.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to be on Talksport/5 Live/Sky in the coming weeks to discuss what an incredibly tough job it’s been.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to tell us that he knows ‘he wasn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea’.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to tell his media friends how hard he worked (despite trips to Portugal and limited time on the training ground) to improve the team.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to mention the many positives despite not winning a single game of football this season.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to mention fans’ expectations and that he ‘of course’ understands that the fans want to be competing at the top end of the table.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to complain about the rotten luck he’s had with injuries, without mentioning the rotten luck he had with injuries at Villa, Sunderland and Hull.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to subtly blame the players for ‘not taking their chances’ as opposed to playing several players in the wrong position.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to mention Rafa Benitez on several occasions.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to mention ‘trying to find a balance’ despite being in the job for over 850 days and inheriting a squad that was already ‘well balanced’.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to start every answer with ‘Look’.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to try and lay the blame on everyone else but himself for the state the football club on the pitch is at the moment.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to mention his experience as a football manager, despite that amounting to the worst win percentage of any manager in Premier League history.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to mention Covid-19 in every interview.

I fully expect Steve Bruce to pretend he loves the club and the ultimate job for him despite telling us all years ago that the job was of no interest to him.

The last two and a bit years under this manager have been a complete disaster, forget the 12th place finish or equal number of points nonsense. Fans who care about the club know that it goes so much deeper than that. His attitude towards the fans and his lack of respect for the club has been clear to see from when he first walked through the door, to his embarrassing press conferences where he would big up the likes of Brentford and Brighton but tell our own fans that we aren’t a big club.

I was going to write a bit on tactics, but seriously, what’s the point? A manager who fails to adapt, fails to set up teams correctly, fails to play players in their proper positions, shoves 10 behind the ball yet still concedes 15-20 shots on goal per game, relies on one players pace and trickery to try and run the length of the pitch and score every time he’s given the ball, and then moans when said player gets injured. The man thinks tactics are little white mints you get in a rectangular tub and the sooner he’s out of this club the better.

He said that he understands if he gets sacked, but he wants to stay and show the owners what he can do.

Here’s an idea then, let him stay, but give him a cleaning job in the toilets as far away from the football pitch. That’s the only reason I will accept him staying at this magnificent football club.

Steve Bruce- Cleaner (12 month performance review) 

Manager- “Steve, how are you getting on with those toilets? They still seem pretty dirty to me” 

SB- “Look, I’m simply trying to find a balance between the urinals and the sink…I understand the fans frustrations, of course we all want to see sparkling clean toilets, but we just need to find the balance” 

Manager- “How much longer will it be before you find the balance Steve? Amanda is wanting to know” 

SB- “I’m not going to put a timescale on it, but with my experience in the job, I’m hopeful that I’ll get the job done”

A bit harsh possibly, but it’s abundantly clear he needs to leave and I’ve faith in the new regime that his departure will be sooner, rather than later.

CRAIG MIDDLETON