TRUE15 LUKE 1977 Voucher (1)




Christ, where do you go with this report?  We lined up on a glorious May afternoon in front of a lively SJP and put in probably our best performance of the season to say goodbye to the Premier League in style but leave a horribly sour taste in the mouth.  We started with Mitrovic and Steven Taylor restored to the starting line up against a Spurs side competing for second place but almost from the off, we were by far the superior team.

The crowd were noisy from the word go, giving Rafa no doubt as to their desire to see him stay and, 37 games too late, we won every challenge and seemed totally up for it.  We took the lead on twenty minutes with a perfectly crafted goal, when Mitrovic cushioned a Sissoko pass to the onrushing Wijnaldum to stroke home.  A fine goal fashioned from a trio of total charlatans.  With the sun beating down on us and the crowd getting noisier and noisier, we extended our lead a few minutes before the break when Mitrovic got up to steer a header from a Townsend cross past Lloris.  The winger can hold his head up high after impressing since coming to NE1 unlike the majority of his teammates, more on the scorer to follow.

Half time felt almost surreal, easily ahead of the runners up in the league and we looked to be coasting before they pulled Rafa3one back on the hour.  Lamela got it, beating Darlow at his near post with a fierce shot off the post, although the keeper would be disappointed and despite barely threatening, Spurs saw the game swing in their direction when we were reduced to ten men with Mitrovic sent off for a stamp on Walker.  It was a totally unnecessary reaction with the ball long gone and I’d struggle to sum up my contempt for our seven figure signing if I knocked out another two thousand words here.  The red card summed him up – classless, cowardly and to coin a phrase from round my way as soft as fucking clarts.  He’s not a hard man, he’s not a cult hero, he’s a piss poor carthorse who has stunk the fucking place out this season – a dreadful signing who should be one of the first out of the door this summer.  Mitro’s on fire?  Mitro’s a wanker.  Fuck off.

The next ten minutes was as surreal as we’v ever seen at SJP as instead of crumbling, we went on to score three more with ten men in a party atmosphere against a Spurs side that had to be seen to be believed.  The first came from the spot when Sissoko was chopped down in the area.  Wijnaldum stepped up to coolly slot home, although I felt slightly sick to see him applauded off with a hero’s goodbye moments later.  He’s been a bastard disgrace since Christmas and I can’t wait to see the shot of him, never mind cheering the fucker off.  His replacement, Aarons extended our leave even further when he smashed home a Townsend shot which came back off the post and the ground was bouncing by this point.

We capped an unbelievable performance moments after the fourth when Janmaat dashed forward to steer a ball past Lloris into the far corner although you’ll have to forgive me for not getting carried away in the celebrations of another player who has let us down badly this season.  Prior to these two goals, we’d seen Sissoko subbed off to a standing ovation from the bulk of the crowd.  What can you say?  I’ll not make many friends by saying this, but I can’t believe our fans sometimes.  Sissoko?  Jesus fucking Christ man, howay?  Are you that fucking fickle?  The bloke has taken the piss for the thick end of the past three year, but all’s forgiven because he’s got his finger out in a nothing game when we’re already relegated?

The game ended with the ground ringing to Rafa chants, but I’ll be frank, I left feeling totally hollow. If anything, I felt as annoyed walking down Stowell Street as I had against Bournemouth a few weeks before.  We’ve got a side made up of players I largely hate – talented but devoid of any responsibility or thought towards the people that blindly support them week after week.  It’s an odd state of mind – our biggest win in God knows how long against a supposedly top team and I just want shot of the cunts for the next few months.  Relegation in it’s itself means nowt really, what difference does it make who we play, what loss will it be if Mike Ashley loses a fortune?  If it rids us of all but a couple of this team, then it’s a price worth paying.  As for Rafa, well it’s up to him isn’t it?  He knows he’s wanted and if he doesn’t stay then I won’t think any less of him – thanks for giving it a crack and all that.  To be brutally honest, I was embarrassed by today on more than one level and the sooner we get back to just being Newcastle United the better.

Have a great summer and thanks for reading TF this year.  Bring on the Championship.

Newcastle United – Darlow 6, Janmaat 7, Mbemba 7, Taylor 7, Dummett 7, Tiote 7 (Shelvey 6), Colback 7,SISSOKO 8 (Sterry n.a), Wijnaldum 8 (Aarons 7), Townsend 7, Mitrovic 4

Ref – Taylor – 7 – No complaints

Our Fans – 9 – Tragically loyal

Their Fans – 7 – Loads of them in town, felt like a proper following albeit with a good smattering of wankers.




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