Have you ever felt more depressed as a Newcastle fan?  I’ve been following United home

Gimp suit required

Gimp suit required

and away for 30 years.  I’ve been to Elm Park, the Manor Ground, Leeds Road, the Abbey Stadium and Broadhall Way with my dad, the bloke I love more than anything in the world, the bloke who has shaped me as a human being, driving us to Prenton Park, Boundary Park and Millmoor.  Hours together, hours following Newcastle through thin and thinner.  Hours dreaming of the day we had a football team we could be proud of.

There have been days, years even when everything has clicked on the pitch and in the city.  I felt as proud of NUFC as I ever have when we were standing on the edge of the abyss with eight men at Derby twenty-odd years ago and the noise from the away end was as loud as I’ve heard as I did when we were scoring our third against Barcelona in the Champions League all those years ago.

We’ve had our ups and downs and there have been days when you felt it couldn’t get any worse.  Three nil down at Barnsley, losing at Wigan under Souness, life couldn’t get any worse, right?  Well, no actually, not right.

In the 1000+ games that I’ve gone to watch Newcastle United, I can’t think of a time when I’ve been more ashamed to follow the club than I did today.  I won’t even bother with a match report as such – they scored three and if they had upped their game they could have scored a dozen.  Sunderland, our deadliest rivals, came and took the piss for the second season running.

Ben Arfa, a player I have eulogised for the past two years was a disgrace.  Disinterested, anonymous.  We know that Pardew is a fucking idiot, we know that he hasn’t got the vaguest idea how to play a man of your ability.  We know all that, but how can we forgive you not giving two shits about our team?

Santon was the worst of a very bad lot.  Again, a player I’ve defended repeatedly, putting in a performance that was absolutely beyond the pail.  I’d be happy if he never pulled on a black and white shirt again. Anita?  Celebrating the complete pinnacle of mediocrity.  Sissoko?  Three good games out of a hundred.  I felt sorry for Sammy Ameobi, that’s as bad as we’ve got.  The kid was the best player we had and he is absolute dogshit.  His brother?  Jesus.  Just Jesus.

I don’t mind getting beat and honestly, I don’t even mind losing to them.  They were the better side again and it is a blessing that it was only three.  If you’ll allow me this indulgence, I’ll tell you what I do mind.  I mind walking down Stowell Street with my dad after the game and watching a bloke in his sixties who has no prospect of going to the match to watch a United side he can be proud of with his son.

I resent Ashley. I hate him truth be told and the same can be said for Pardew.  Chancer.  Shit player, shit manager.  I would love to think that he wakes up every morning and realises how lucky he is but he won’t.  You don’t get us, Alan, not really.  For all your slimy bullshit in front of the cameras, you’ll never know what it means and I wouldn’t even give a shrug if you got sacked in the morning.  Dispensable.  Just like us.  How does it feel?

I feel as powerless as the rest of you do.  Ashley will stay there as long as he’s making money out of us and we’ll either have to like it or lump it.  And you know what?  After however many trips away watching the lads, however many ups and downs, I’m almost at the point where if it were the latter, then so be it.  Cheers, Mike.  Cheers, Alan.  You’ve got me.

Congratulations to the Mackems.  I hope you have a great weekend in London in a month’s time, you deserve it.  Equally, I obviously hope you get stuffed.  But more than anything, I hope we get the teams we deserve.  Both of us.

Newcastle United: – Krul 5, Debuchy 1, Williamson 3, S Taylor 2, Santon 0 (Dummett 5) Sissoko 1, Anita 0 (Marveaux 1), Tiote 3, Ben Arfa 0, SAMMY 5 (De Jong 1), Shola 0

Ref – Dowd – 6 – Barely noticed him

Our Fans – 5 – Depressed

Their Fans – 7 – Happy, obviously, but in the circumstances, I’d have expected them to be swinging from the proverbial chandeliers.  Are we that easy?

Keep the Faith