This away day had everything. A great win, Cabella’s first goal for the club and an cheatingHull15
ex-Mackem bastard to boot. As this was my birthday weekend, we decided to stop over in York on the way back from Hull so we boarded the train early on Saturday morning in high spirits. After quickly dumping the bags at the hotel, we were on the short hop to Hull but not before a slight delay to the train caused by Mags doing what can only be described as pissing all over the place (according to the Train staff mind you and not backed by anything we saw). It’s bad crack if it’s true though – that’s the type of stuff the Mackems do to metro trains allegedly. We arrived in Hull and it was bastard freezing. The wind cut right through you but we were soon to be warmed up.

A steady (but by no means brilliant) start to the game saw two teams who both looked to be out of sorts and nervous as hell. Our recent run has been poor but there’s has been even worse and has seen them tumble into the bottom three in the past few weeks. After 9 minutes, a Dawson header was narrowly wide and in the 19th minute, a Curtis Davies header was magnificently saved by Krul before Collocini cleared away from the goal line. In the 38th minute, Haidara cut inside and crossed for Perez to glance a header straight at McGregor but 2 minutes later we took the lead. Hull’s defence failed to clear and Cabella picked the ball up about 25 yards out. The defenders backed off and he pinged a 20yard left foot strike into the bottom corner for his first United goal. Great finish to be fair to him. Throughout the game he showed some great touches but also showed how annoying he can be by holding onto the ball too long and being dispossessed to easily again and again. The sublime to the ridiculous. On the stroke of half time, Hull won a free kick on our left and Elmohamady appeared to head into the net. As the cheating bastard wheeled away celebrating the ‘goal’, the officials remained un-moved and a free kick was awarded to us. With it being at the other end, we couldn’t really see why but within seconds, phones were going with texts telling us how the cheating SMB had punched the ball into the net. He was yellow carded but surely there is a case for that kind of deliberate hand ball / cheating being rewarded with a straight red card isn’t there?

Anyway, half time came and went and we came out much stronger in the second half. AfterSirLes2 5 minutes, Ameobi picked the ball up on our left and hit an outstanding early strike which caught McGregor out completely and smashed into the net to spark wild celebrations in the away end. By now, Hull were utter gash and we were starting to show boat. In the next ten minutes, we survived a couple of hairy moments with Collcini doing his best to score an outrageous own goal (only prevented by Anita’s good work) and Jelavic scuffing a chance to score which looked like a nailed on goal. Gouffran replaced a tiring Cabella in the 71st minute and 7 minutes later collected the ball in the inside right position, drove towards the box and hit a shot which took a big deflection before looping over McGregor into the net. 3-0 away from home – champion.

The rest of the game was played out to cheers from our fans as the home fans streamed out of the ground. I don’t blame them though, there team were garbage and showed no fight or spirit after they went behind. Still, we can’t and won’t shed any tears for them. Our safety comes first and this went along way to securing that for another year.

By the way, Steve Bruce sounded like a nice old lady from Gosforth in his post-match interview and has the worst ‘scenty bottle’ accent – on par with Robson Green in the plastic Geordie stakes.

I have, on-purpose, not spoken about the state of the sides development, John Carver’s appointment or Lee Charnley’s (glorified tea boy) bollocks in The Chronicle. Sometimes you just have to enjoy the day and savour the moment

Keep the faith eh!

Newcastle United: Krul 7, Janmaat 7, Coloccini 6, Williamson 6, Haidara 7, Colback 7, Anita 7, Sissoko 6, Ameobi 7 (Abeid 90), Cabella 6 (Gouffran 71 5), Perez 7 (Cisse 81)

 Subs n/u: Alnwick, Santon, Obertan

 Our Fans: 6 pretty poor in a turgid 1st half but miles better in the second

 Their Fans: 2 – never really heard them at all

 Ref: Phil Dowd 7 – I thought he had a decent game but it still looks like he tries to make every live TV game the ‘Phil Dowd show’