• Spurs
  • Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
  • Sunday 25th August
  • 4.30pm – Live on Sly Sports

As a youthful Nick Heyward once pondered, “Where do we go from here….?”

An already pressurised Steve Bruce takes his dispirited and disunited looking Mags to London this weekend. It’s a match up of the upwardly mobile versus the ‘rather rudderless.’ And aye, we’re at the shitty end of that particular equation.

Tottenham are everything we’re not, these days. They have real quality all across the park, a great manager and a massive, shiny new arena to strut their stuff in. Having put so much effort into last season, only to fall at the final Champions League hurdle, there was the possibility of a bit of a lull as this campaign began. However, having seen off the likes of Juve, Bayern and Real Madrid in Summer kick-a-bouts, they’ve also hit their straps pretty well in their first two Premiership outings, beating Aston Vile 3-1 and gaining a mint point at t’Etihad in a 2-2 thriller.

Our opponents have been a little quiet on the transfer front over the past couple of years, with the building of a new ground presumably severely impacting upon Mr Levy’s purse. In a somewhat eyebrow lifting move, this summer their England international full back, Trippier went to Atletico Madrid for £20M to be replaced by Fulham’s young talent, Ryan Sessegnon for £5M more. The big splash was on Tanguy NDombele, a big, French midfield enforcer from Lyon. He has started well. To be fair, you’d want him to, having cost £54M.

All of the usual suspects who’ve tormented us in the past are still in evidence. Players like Son, Moura, Eriksen and Kane would walk into many top sides around Europe. If they’re on any sort of form, they’ll be far too good for us this Sunday.

Newcastle arrive in North London with nada in the points column, following last Saturday’s sad surrender at Carrow Road. That we were put to the sword in such a straightforward manner by basically a decent Championship side, is depressing as much as it’s unacceptable.

Ashley’s latest Summer of absolute folly looks like it’s haunting us already. Our £40M man missed a sitter that Rondón would have gobbled up at 0-0, a defence that’s been the bedrock of United’s belligerent survival over the past two seasons was all over the place, and from an attacking sense, we were largely numb and lethargic.

Our new manager’s arrived and instead of following Rafa’s compact plan has unnecessarily tinkered with tactics from the off. Unfortunately, from the evidence witnessed in the first two games, we’re clearly worse off (from a talent perspective) on the pitch and in the dugout. Bruce has square pegs in round holes, his players don’t seem to understand their roles and to be honest, it all just looks a mess.

For those not travelling, you’ll be pleased to know that it’s on Sly Sports. It’s going to be class watching us get our pants pulled down in front of a gloating nation. And I for one, can’t wait for the completely neutral opinions of the Redknapps and a man dressed up in a cockerel outfit at Half Time.

Following such an upbeat preview, you’ll be unsurprised to hear that I’m predicting a fun afternoon for the Southern, satellite town Spurs supporters present. I recall being at White Hart Lane in the 80’s as Glenn Hoddle tore United a new one in a 5-1 walkover. I truly hope not, but I have a nasty feeling we could be in for something similar this time around.

Right, I’m off for some industrial strength Prozac with a vodka chaser.

Sorry to be a mood hoover and that.

Until the next time…