Oh Lordy, Lordy. Well last week’s capitulation was thoroughly predictable. Utterly awful to watch and to be honest, I cant really believe that it’ll get any better this weekend either, as a Man Utd side, buoyed by a good result against Bayern Munich land at SJP.
By their own, high standards, they’ve had a poor season, not quite aeroplane flying messages around the ground, levels of poor, in my opinion, but there you go, perhaps they’ve been spoiled during Ferguson’s era?
Amazingly, we could (don’t laugh) do the double of them for the 1st time since the 1930s!!
For all the stick they’ve received, they’ve still only lost 4 out of 16 away games in the league, and 3 of them were Liverpool, Chelsea and Man City.
They do have some injury worries. Van Persie, Evans, Smalling, Valencia, Rafael, Giggs and Buttner all have various injuries to be assessed. Van Persie is their leading scorer with 17 but he’ll miss out, Rooney is next with 16, “Welbz” (Sounds like a street slang name for a drug) has 10.
Pardew has declared an “Injury crisis.” It’s a crisis now, even though we have the exact same number of missing senior players as we had vs. Crystal Palace….. Let’s be honest, he opens his cake flap and absolutely anything, can fly out.
He’s declared that Sissoko has been “great” this season, I was perplexed to learn that the Sissoko in question was in fact, Moussa, who has ranged from canny, average, to absolutely, fucking shite. Honestly man, what’s he on? Wobbly Eggs? Or “Welbz?”
He reckons his team is going to be hard to predict, this may or may not support my suspicion that his team selections are randomly drawn from a hat. Maybe his team will have 3 left backs in it? Randomly, scattered about? Fuck knows!
R Taylor – Knee – out for the season
Sissoko – Hamstring – 3 weeks
Krul – Knee
Remy – Ankle
Debuchy – Groin
Obertan – Knee
Possible Team (4-4-2) drawn from Pardew’s special, formation, hat
1.Anita: 2. Yanga-Mbiwa, 5. Williamson, 6. Coloccini, 3. Haidara: 7. Cisse, 4. Tiote 8. Elliot 11. Dummett: 10. Gouffran, 9. Santon:
Ben Arfa, Taylor, Sammy Ameobi, Marveaux, Gosling, Shola Ameobi, Alnwick
Referee: Kevin Friend
History vs Man Utd at SJP
1984/85: Drew 1-1. United were on a wretched run of 2 wins in 13 and had been bundled out of the FA cup when the Red Devils pitched up on Tyneside. They were destined for a 4th place finish, whilst we’d finish in 14th. On a pitch covered in snow. Peter Beardsley rattled in at the Leazes End with an orange ball to cancel out Kevin Moran’s opener. Attendance, 31,789
1985/86: Lost 2-4. Man Utd arrived towards the end of season where we would quite easily secure our first division status with an 11th place finish. They’d finish 4th again. And they left SJP with 3 points too as they bagged 4. Mark Hughes hit 2 having a blinder alongside Frank Stapleton. Bryan Robson and Norman Whiteside got their other 2 with Ian Stewart and Tony Cunningham notched for us. Attendance, 32,183
1986/87: Won 2-1 Again this fixture was late in the season and Man Utd were heading for a finish of 11th place. This was a feisty encounter. Glenn Roeder put us ahead but Gordon Strachan equalised with a brilliant finish. Goddard notched the winner with a clinical finish. Attendance, 32,706
1987/88: Won 1-0 A Boxing Day treat for United fans. The visitors would finish 2nd, 9 points behind Liverpool. But they would leave Tyneside empty handed thanks to Glenn Roeder’s, 1st half, winner. We’d eventually finish the season in 8th place. Attendance, 26,461
1988/89: Drew 0-0 A season of shit results, agitation with the board and ultimately relegation, and to think “We’re gonna win the league” got an airing at Goodison Park on the opening game of the season. Attendance, 20,234.
1993/94 Drew 1-1 We’d manage to surprise the world by acquiring a point at Old Trafford in only our 3rd league game in the big league, and we’d earn a point again here. Paul Ince had put Man Utd 1-0 up but Andy Cole equalised with a tidy header. Attendance, 36,332
1994/95 Drew 1-1 With Andy Cole now a Man Utd player, our striking duties fell upon the shoulders of the ill-equipped, Paul Kitson. Kitson was a huge disappointment on Tyneside but he did manage to cancel out Mark Hughes’s opener here. Attendance, 34,471
1995/96 I’m afraid I have erased this game from my memory and I suggest you do the same!!
1996/97 Won 5-0 A wonderful day. The Red Devils were torn a new arsehole and it was fucking great. Darren Peacock, Ginola, Ferdinand, Shearer and Albert on a day that won’t ever be forgotten. Attendance, 36,579
1997/98 Lost 0-1 Andy Cole, who was now officially, a grade A, cunt, with the winner. Attendance, 36,736
1998/99 Lost 1-2 Nobby Solano endeared himself to his adoring public with a superb free kick, but Cole scored twice as he formed a prolific partnership with Dwight Yorke. Attendance, 36.776
1999/00 Won 3-0 Man Utd were dismantled again on Tyneside, this time Shearer and Ferguson ran riot. Ferguson got the ball rolling with a superb volley. Shearer then hit 2. This day will be remembered as the day Roy Keane went through Robert Lee andhad a red card shown at him. Lovely day this one. Attendance, 36, 470
2000/01 Drew 1-1 After a David Beckham pena;ty had put the visitors ahead in the 1st half. Bobby Robson went for a 3 man substitution which paid dividends within minutes. The subs, Cordone, Lualua combined to find Stephen Glass who fired home to draw us level. Attendance, 52,134
2001/02 Won 4-3 This game had everything. Laurent Robert fired us in front with a wonderful free kick, but back came the visitors to equalise through Van Nistelrooy. Rob Lee tried a speculative shot from distance that bounced before Barthez (who was fucking hopeless really) fumbled it into his net. When Nik the Greek made it 3-1 we thought it was all over but Man Utd blasted in 2 quick goals to level, through Giggs and Veron. Shearer’s shot went in off Wes Brown to make it 4-3 and SJP went berserk. Roy Keane, the silly, tit, lost his blob and went for Big Al. He was sent off at SJP again. Attendance, 52,056
2002/03 Lost 2-6 An absolute mauling. Dyer had made his mouth go in the build up to the match. Scholes showed him right up. Attendance, 51,607
2003/04 Lost 1-2 Shearer had us in front with a header at the Leazes end, but a van Nistelrooy equaliser and a Scholes winner saw the 3 points head across the Pennines. Attendance, 52,165
2004/05: Lost 1-3. The Red Devils took the points again as Rooney x 2 and van Nistelrooy found the back of our net. Shearer had briefly levelled the score at 1-1. Attendance, 52,320
2005/06 Lost 0-2 Another away win, although we’d reached the hour mark at 0-0, before Rooney and van Nistelrooy sealed the points for the visitors. Attendance, 52,327
2006/07 Drew 2-2 James Milner had us 1-0 up with a thumping shot from outside the box which flew in to the net, Scholes then struck twice to give us that familiar sinking feeling, but David Edgar lashed in a strike from distance to make it 2-2. Attendance, 52,302
2007/08 Lost 1-5 Annihilated, with Ronaldo torturing us. Attendance, 50,152
2008/09 Lost 1-2 After Lovenkrands pounced on a goalkeeping fumble, the visitors replied through Rooney and Berbatov. We’d only score again in 4 out of our last 10 matches. Attendance, 51,636
2010/11 Drew 0-0 Michael Owen getting an earful when entering the field as a sub, amazingly, he didn’t score! Attendance, 49,025
2011/12 Won 3-0 Another rare, wonderful thrashing of Man Utd at SJP. Cabaye’s free kick was out of this world and so too was Demba Ba’s volley, but neither goal displayed the sort of technique that Phil Jones as he attempted a header back at his own goal as he was practically on his knees and facing the floor. Attendance, 52,299
2012/13 Lost 0-3 Another cakewalk for the visitors. They spent the first 20 minutes playing in fast forward and we out of sight by the quarter of an hour mark. The whole thing was the UEFA Cup’s fault. (Probably) Attendance, 52,203
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Doesn’t matter really cos we can make anybody look brilliant when we put our mind to it
0-3, maybe even 0-4. We’ll get a good scudding!!