• 🆚 Brighton & Hove Albion
  • 🏟 Amex Stadium
  • 🦁 Premier League
  • 🗓 Monday 20/7/20 @ 6pm
  • 📺 Live on various SKY channels

The penultimate kick about of the season takes place in East Sussex, on Monday evening. It’s a mouthwatering avian match up as the Seagulls of Brighton go head to head with Steve’s Magpies. The prize? That coveted of football perches; 13th in the Prem.

Our manager has been letting us know how lucky we are recently. To be on Southampton’s coattails is an achievement in itself, erm apparently. To also be ahead of some of the game’s behemoths currently dwelling just below us is another cause for celebration, too. Whilst we gnash our teeth in frustration at such unadventurous vanilla drivel, he actually has the right of it, to some degree.

This is Ashley’s NUFC where hope is a stern looking daily mail journo and progression’s epitomised by a cool down paddling pool at the club’s training ‘facility’. Given the shackles the tat peddler has strangulated NUFC with, it is actually some sort of achievement to be still in the top flight next time around. What the complicit Bruce absolutely fails to understand is that we A. Don’t see this as a reason for backslapping & B. Deem it insulting to have him alluding to the old “expectation” chestnut. Especially, when the vast majority of us would’ve settled for Premier League survival the moment he darkened our door a year ago.

Anyway, on to the football.

Gotta be honest. I pulled an ‘Edwards’* on Wednesday. Although I would say in my defence, that I was coaching my under 9’s team and not deliberately swerving doing what I’m being paid for (whilst pissing everyone off by being a subversive wine fuelled twitter-twatterer). From the highlights, it appears that we gave it more of a go, were a little unfortunate, but let ourselves down with sloppy defending.

The match on Monday is a kick about in an empty arena. It’s between two also rans who’ve both just been howked 5-0 by Man City. Given our injuries and the fact that Brighton gave us a footballing lesson (sans goals) earlier in the season, you’d imagine our hosts will prevail this time around.

To all intents and purposes, it’s a friendly. The only thing that would make it in any way interesting is if he gave the likes of Kelland Watts a go. Surely there is no better time to blood a few youngsters? I’m not sure Mr Bruce agrees. But then again, someone who thinks that perpetually playing average defenders on their wrong side, might not be the best of judges.

We’re running on empty and they have a few decent players in form, such as Maupay, who will probably hurt us. I’m gonna go for 1-0 to the home side.

This match preview from purgatory was sponsored by the English Premier League.

*Deliberate avoidance of exposure to NUFC matches. As practised by the North East’s main football correspondent for the Daily Telegraph.

by Nick Clark   [Twitter: @Clark5Nick]