Brentford

Brentford Community Stadium

Carabao Cup Quarter Final

5.30pm, Tuesday 22nd December 2020

Newcastle travel to West London this coming Tuesday in a game of some importance. Well, that is if you’reckon we’ve a snowflake’s chance in Hell of winning this trophy.’ The draw was made way back on the 1st October for the Carabao quarters. As Jamie Redknapp called out ‘Bwentfud’ and then, ‘Noocarsel’ a loud sigh of relief was heard. It was the draw they all wanted.’ The Toon at home. However, let me tell you this Mr Frank (he’s the Bees Danish, floppy haired manager btw); blustering Steve is still fighting for this trophy, so don’t go ordering your ‘Wembley whistles’ quite yet.’

Our hosts come into this one on a decent run of form. Following the heartache of being ousted from the play offs by neighbours, Fulham they then lost their two most influential players in Ollie Watkins & Sa’d Benrahma. All of the above seemed to affect their start to this campaign, but with new signing (and ex Mag) Ivan Toney now banging them in they’ve now risen to fourth in the Championship.’

Ivan has plundered 16 in 19 games (all competitions) thus far, and they arrived at this juncture having defeated Premiership sides Southampton, West Brom & Fulham.’ Their play is easy on the eye; all about pressing the opposition and fast flowing football. They’ll be a handful in their spanking new, but sadly empty arena.’

What of the maudlin Magpies? It’s tough to find too many positives these days, isn’t it? In most of the games played this season we’ve looked bereft of tactics. We’ve just kind of muddled our way through, and I know I’m not alone in wondering how we’re not currently in the bottom three.’

Even more worrying, if rumour and the most recent performances are owt to go by, Mr Bruce appears to have lost the dressing room.’ ‘Abject surrender’ are two words that keep on coming to mind. That was certainly true at Elland Road. Then, on Saturday evening we were second best to the mighty Fulham. Even with ten men, they looked the more likely. None of this augurs well for a Wembley appearance, I’m afraid.’

I guess one question is, how arsed are our hosts about this one? Surely, their priority is getting out of the Championship? But, I realise I’m probably clutching at straws.’ We should be going there as favourites, but sadly that just ain’t the case.’

I’d be licking my lips if I was Thomas Frank. We are clearly there for the taking, looking brittle at the back, laboured in midfield and pathetically reliant on our classy number 13 to get us out of the clarts.’

We’re basically set up (as a club) just to make up the numbers. Teams like that don’t win things. I think we’ll probably get turned over on Tuesday night. I reckon it’ll be 1-3, or something similar. If we somehow get past them, the big boys await in the semis.’

As a fan base we should be massively up for this game. We’re mainly not though. The vast majority know the fucking score.’

Sorry, if this is grim reading. My advice; try to put NUFC out of your minds for a few days and do your best to enjoy Christmas with your loved ones. That’s what I’m gonna do. See you on the other side…..’

@Clark5Nick’

Nick Clark’