No Newcastle United this weekend means one thing – we are at severe risk of being 
snarled up in domestic chores or even worse a trip to IKEA – the football fans’ graveyard.
If you do not act quickly you will find yourself contemplating self-harming amongst racks of very affordable flat-pack furniture and being bollocked by your beloved for failing to feign interest in well designed kitchen utensils with sufficient dramatic commitment.
There is only one thing for it. Make arrangements NOW to get to a non-league football match and behave like it has been planned for weeks, it is absolutely critical you get to those games and people are defending upon you.
This gob-shite fanzine has published two Bluffers Guides to Blyth Spartans and Gateshead respectively. They KO at 3pm at Croft park and the International Stadium respectively. They are our top tips for a great trip out.
But you could also pop along to your local Northern League club and make snide cracks about their boss Mike Amos being a bit sniffy about getting involved with the FSF’s Non-League Day. Must have a tip in for himself eh?
All of the Northern League’s fixtures are here
What you waiting for?
For my last Non-League Day (Sept 2010) me and my mate jumped on the Metro to watch South Shields v North Shields in the FA Vase. It was an absolutely cracking day from start to finish. The highlight? The ‘Chant of the Season’ contender from the home fans – “You’re just a small town in Scotland!” Priceless. Oh, we also got carried with being able to drink and were warned via tannoy to, ‘keep your beers off the pitch, please’. Smashing. South Shields won, 2-0.