Dear Santa
1. – More next year please
2 – Kieran Trippier – Some more fairy dust for those magic boots
3 – Paul Dummett – Sadly, a move away to a championship club (sorry @Clark5Nick)
4 – Sven Botman – Keys to his Rolls Royce
5 – Fabian Schär – Some super glue. He used it up by sticking with Big Sven
6 – Jamal Lacelles – A DeLorean to take him back to when he was good
7 – Joelinton – A Brazil cap or two
8 – Jonjo Shelvey – A Ferarri – Or something with a bit of pace
9 – Callum Wilson – A magic fitness potion. And maybe some more England minutes
10 – Allan Saint-Maximin – Some focus on football and away from that bloody board game!
11 – Matt Ritchie – A move to a championship club. Oh, and a new hat
12 – Jamal Lewis – New hamstrings (I said the same 12 months ago)
13 – Matt Targett – Some game time for a start
14 – Alexander Isak – New groin muscles
18 – Loris Karius – Some clippers (or just a haircut) Oh, and a longer term contract
19 – Javier Manquillo – Some tweezers to get the splinters out of his arse
20 – Chris Wood – The ability to occupy defenders
21 – Ryan Fraser – A baby bouncer
22 – Nick Pope – A halo to confirm Saint status
23 – Jacob Murphy – A DVD of The Wizard of Oz… If he only had a brain
24 – Miggy Almiron – A signed and framed picture of Jack Grealish
26 – Karl Darlow – Probably a move away. Thanks for your service Karl
28 – Joe Willock – A Geordie accent – Come on you Maggies
32 – Elliot Anderson – More minutes on the pitch
33 – Dan Burn – Another baby bouncer to carry his ikle mate Fraser around
36 – Sean Longstaff – An extra yard of pace and a radar to pass to his mates
39 – Bruno Guimaraes – An nufc tattoo of him in the middle. Oh, and a whopping new contract
Eddie Howe – A framed “Intensity is our identity” picture for his throne room
Mad Dog Tindall – Some novelty contact lenses to frighten the opposition into submission
Mehrdad Ghoddousi – Further access to Amanda’s credit card
Amanda Staveley – A neatly gift wrapped James Maddison. Bow optional
Jamie Reuben – Some new suits. Doesn’t he wear the same one for every game?
Yasir Al-Rumayyan – Nothing. His wide smile is more than enough
NUFC fans – A trip to Wembley in February wouldn’t go amiss
Paul Karter –
